I Left a Bit of Myself in Canada. Not an Important Part, Mind You. Like My Brain or Stomach. Or Vagina. Just a Piece of my Heart. A Bit of My Heart is Still There, Waiting for Dual Citizenship.

I found this gem in my draft folder from November of 2012. 
Finally decided to finish it and hit publish.  Enjoy!  Or not.  Whatevs.

So, I went to Canada last weekend.....
To see my dear friend Marianna over at Snappy Surprise.  BE JEALOUS.

I had never been to Canada, other than a quick drive through over Niagara Falls, so I had to make an official landing and visit there for a few days.  And boy am I glad that I did.

Spending time with your international BFF is fantastic.  We explored the city and ate beaver tails and poutine and I learned a ton about Canada, for instance...

1.  Don't assume that a statue of a tall dude must obviously be Abraham Lincoln.  IN CANADA.  It makes you look stupid.  In my defense we don't learn about Canadian history here in the States.  And that's a damn shame.
2.  The issues surrounding the aboriginal people of Canada are frightening similar to our own here in the US with the native population.
3.  Poutine must be HOT for the cheese to properly melt.
4.  Marianna is STILL a uterus wizard, as I got my period when I was there.  (unlike her, who happened to be newly preggo and I didn't say a word to anyone!!! She's a momma now...  SQUEEEE)
5.  Canada's Smarties candies are chocolate you guys.
6.  Canada has some hotties working in customs, eh?
7.  The people of Ottawa say, "yeah, yeah" after almost every sentence.  I fucking LOVED it.
8.  They have roundabouts.  And I still don't understand roundabouts.
9. Canada is beautiful and the people are lovely.  I don't belong around such nice-ness.
10.  I don't understand the metric system.  At. All.

After a fun long weekend I had to head home.  Hurricane Sandy decided to act like a bitch and a ton of flights were cancelled.  Thankfully mine was one of the few still running and I made it home smoothly.  I've been plotting my next trip up there for months.  I miss my witty, equally sarcastic girl and can't wait to meet the human she made in her body.

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Apparently I'm So Shitty at Blogging Even *I* Didn't Realize I'd Stopped

Oh hi there.  Long time no see.
Or is it, no write. 
And no read.
I can't actually see you.... OR CAN I?
We all know the NSA can.  In fact they're probably watching you through your computer RIGHT NOW.
(I feel that this is where I should take the time to say I personally love spying, I mean surveillance. Stalking is a hobby of mine.  And my favorite letters just happen to be N... S... and A.... and the government is my favorite thing ever.  I love ALL the government things, especially those surveillance related.   Boo Snowden.  And Russia.  Do we not like Russia still?)

Anyway, it was brought to my attention today by my one and only reader that I haven't blogged in about a year.  A YEAR.  And none of you sonsabitches bothered to check on me or cry or commit mass random acts of depression like sobbing in the streets.   But no really, it's fine.  Carry on.

Nothing's been wrong or amazing, it's just been, well, LIFE.  Busy.  And not funny.  I lost my funny.  If I ever had any that is.  I didn't lose my sarcasm, but it lost its humorous, random and kooky tone and took on a bitter, "meh" tone. 

So I've stayed away, waiting for inspiration to strike.  And just like the lottery, it NEVER FUCKING DID HAPPEN. 

I wanted to check in though and say hey.  And that I'm going to make an effort to be here more regularly.  Cuz I like it here (and I'm talkin to YOU, NSA) And I like you guys.  All ONE of you reading. 

JK, there are apparently 164 of you.  The smartest, best 164 people in all the land. 

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This One's Not Funny But I Need to Write It. Deal With It.

I started taking the little pill about 6 years ago.  I wasn't "handling" my diagnosis well.  (MS.  Fuck you doctor.  Let's see how you handle a diagnosis like multiple sclerosis when you're 28 years old and have a 2 year old at home.)

The pill was supposed to get me through.  The diagnosis caused depression, anxiety, and PTSD.  The illness can cause depression.  The injections to treat the depressing fucking illness cause depression.  Basically, I was going to be depressed as fuck, so take the magic pill to get through.  To get out of bed.  To live without thoughts of dying.

The antidepressant was prescribed and taken.  No one discussed side effects.  NOT ONE MENTION.  It was like an emergency prescription, and I took it, no questions asked.

Fast forward 3 1/2 years.  I was doing GREAT.  What MS?  No symptoms, clean MRIs.  Let's have another baby.  Wean off the meds.

NO ONE TOLD ME THE SIDE EFFECTS OF WEANING OFF ANTIDEPRESSANTS.

They are fucking brutal.  Even with a slow wean, I had 9 days of horrid withdrawal symptoms.  So bad I begged to go back on.  But I did it.  And Wee One was the magical result.

Fast forward a year.  6 weeks post partum.  An MS relapse.  Mild, but depressing.  I'm tossed back on my meds again.  NO ONE DISCUSSED SIDE EFFECTS YET AGAIN.

Over the past couple of years I noticed that I became a raging bitch.  I was irritable ALL. THE. TIME.  On edge.  My temper was on the shortest fuse ever. I for sure had some serious anger issues, and I simply blamed it on being dissatisfied in life, stress, maybe an early "midlife crisis."  Maybe it was changes in my brain from my illness.  I figured everyone would just have to learn to life on egg shells around me and my hostility.

This summer, after our fabulous Cheesy Chicago weekend, I felt inspired by my Marianna to start weaning off my meds in an attempt to live my life without the help of antidepressants.  I wanted to give it a shot with just me.  I can always go back on if I need to.  I started 2012 on 20 mg of my med, and am now on 5 mg.  I've gone slow enough that I'm so far not experiencing the nasty side effects of withdrawal.

What I have noticed is weird.

I feel good.  Calm.  Strangely peaceful and level-headed..... not crazy irritable and aggressively angry.

I decided to really, REALLY read those inserts they give you with your prescription.  The one with all the potential side effects.

You can probably guess what I'm going to say I discovered..........

Rare, serious side effects of the antidepressant I'm on?  Irritability, quick to anger, hostility, aggression.  "Contact your doctor immediately if you notice these mood changes."

Oh, I noticed them already.  As did everyone around me.  I just never suspected that the pill I was taking to keep me out of bed, and involved in life was making me a raging bitch in the process.

I'm going to continue my weaning process and hopefully go off for good soon.  If not, I know that 5 mg is a good, small dose.  I'm not crazy angry, and I'm not crazy depressed.  I feel AMAZING right now.

So, patient beware.  Beware of the things they don't tell you about your meds.  I'm all about doing what you need to do to get through something.  I take prescription medications.  I'm not a hippie/homeopath.  Do what you've gotta do smartly and safely.  BUT...Make sure you know EVERYTHING about your prescriptions.  You are your only advocate.

It feels so good to feel good you guys.  Fucking GOOD.

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We Cheesed Up Chicago Part II

After a fun-filled, and calorie-filled day exploring Navy Pier, it was time to head back to the hotel and make dinner reservations.  We wanted to go somewhere nice.  We wanted nearby.  The Palmer House concierge service is terrific, and we ended up being directed to the Park Grill at Millennium Park.

This place was beautiful, friendly, and the food?  DELISH.  We of course had to start with wine and CHEESE.

By this time I'd had enough Pinot Grigio to turn myself into the long lost twin of Ramona Singer.  And I even Tweeted her about it. AND SHE REPLIED YOU GUYS.  We're kinda BFFs now.  It's not a big deal or anything.

After sampling some yummy cheese, the food came.  SO good.

We headed to the courtyard outside for a drink....

I love this city.  It was totally built on rock and roll.  And awesome sauce.

Outside is where I realized I'd left my Visa card in the restaurant.  OOPS.

And then we headed our buzzed, but fashionably dressed butts back to the hotel where a lovely yet mysterious staircase led us on a ghost hunt. Apparently after too much booze and food you become ghost busters.  If you're us.  And you're convinced you're suddenly in The Overlook hotel running from Jack Nicholson.

Haunted staircase.
It's totally not.

Haunted hallway.
Again, totally not haunted.

At one point we found ourselves in rooms and hallways we know we should not have been in.  So we became super secret ninja ghost hunters.  Shoes came off.  Hushed giggles became the norm.  We ran from custodial staff.....

This place is beautiful, no? In a totally non haunted way.....

At one point, I was holding an investigation in a dark conference room.  And by "investigation" I mean, I had my iPhone flashlight on and I was snooping.

I opened a closet-like door and saw this:

Kidding.

What I really saw was this:

I really had to pee.  The men's room was handy.  

I did NOT go in a urinal.  

Jack wouldn't have liked that....

Finally we found ourselves exhausted and went to bed.

Day three was our final day, which had us up and ready to have a good breakfast before Sarah had to catch the El to O'Hare for her flight back home.  Goodbyes are sad.  I'll skip that part.

Marianna had a super late flight, and since I drove, the two of us stored our luggage at the bell desk and did more exploring.  We took the super crowded, yet super friendly El to hit a beach.  Bonus on the subway that day?  Vomit on the doors and being so cram packed with people I got a free breast exam and spooned with some dude behind me.  And he didn't even ask for my number :(

Subway vomit.  YES I TOOK A PIC.

We walked a bunch, enjoyed the beach, shopped at Hershey's Chicago, had some yummy cupcakes at Sugar Bliss.... so many fun things to do in The Windy City!

All too soon it was time for me to get my car and head home.  This part makes me super duper sad so I won't give you details.  Just that there were hugs.  And tears.  And friendship joy.  (ok, and since it's me, there was about 30 miles of worrying I forgot a bag on the hotel sidewalk.  I didn't.)

Cheesy Chicago was a weekend I'll never forget.  I can not wait to meet up again.  Maybe make this a yearly deal?  A different city each time?  Who knows.  Join us next time, won't you?

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We Cheesed up Chicago, Part I

We did it.  We met up.  We did a cheesy, fun-filled weekend in Chicago.
And it was amazing.

Lucky me I'm a Midwest girl and was able to drive in.  My first time making the 2 1/2-3 hour drive into the city ALONE.  I felt like a big girl.  A grown up.  I only swore at construction zones and bad drivers maybe 10 times. I didn't get lost.  I owe it all to GPS and an IPASS allowing me to breeze through the tolls........

I parked at O'Hare and walked in, waiting to spot my Marianna.  My long lost Canadian soul sister.  I'd waited for that moment for a couple years.  I knew I'd spot her immediately.  I was prepared to cry.  But I didn't really cry.  I smiled all over when she leaped up and ran at me full force into a tackle/hug.  She's small but mighty that girl. And there may have been teenage girl squealing.  That's to be expected.

Oh, and she's also a uterus wizard.  Cuz I immediately went into the bathroom where I discovered I got my period.  Welcome to Chicago.

I took her on the scenic route through the airport and out to the car (okay, I was fucking lost) and we drove into the city.  The Loop.  To the Palmer House Hotel.  If you ever go to Chicago, I can't recommend the Palmer House enough.  AMAZING place.  Great rates.  Wonderful staff.  BEAUTIFUL.  Every square inch is gorgeous and historical.  And at night?  Well, keep reading to see what comes out at night at the Palmer House...... (spoiler alert: semi drunk bloggers thinking they're ghost hunters come out at night at the Palmer House.)  


Click on all photos to enlarge for a better view.  Trust me.

This is their lobby?  Really?  I so don't belong in this kind of beautiful classiness.....

After a flawless (not. I'm a moron) valet ditch of my car and check in, as well as a look-see over our awesome room (which thankfully had big closets to hold ALL of the shit I packed. Plus?  My closet had a tiny little gnome/goblin/fairy/Coraline door in it.), Marianna spoiled me with a huge gift bag from Canada, thereby bestowing upon me the privilege of being an honorary Canadian.  I've just gotta work on my "accent" apparently, eh?  Yeah, yeah.

We had lunch at Flat Top Grill on Wabash.  It was delish.  There was enough edamame to feed a small village. Marianna likes her immature soy beans a LOT.

I fell in love with a cherry lime mojito and ate CARBS. It was fucking lovely. We took our first in real life pic together.

We wandered around bit, discovering just how freaking many Walgreens and CVS stores and Starbucks joints Chicago contains, I bought my first pair of super kickass boots at the paradise called DSW, grabbed a bag of delicious Chicago Mix at Garrett Popcorn Shop, and then needed to get back to the hotel to meet Sarah (LACE).  She's also from Canada, so thankfully we were here in the US or I would've been TOTALLY outnumbered by Canadian awesomeness.

The agenda for our first night in Chi Town was dinner at Pizzeria Due where we were super psyched to have Amy (Coffeeluvinmom) drive in to join us. How sweet is this girl?  She knows the ins and outs of Chicago and was so fun....glad she could make it.  We were late meeting her because someone, ahem, Marianna, happened to somehow make her glasses lens literally fly out of her glasses, causing a hands and knees, nonstop giggle search party in our hotel hallway......

Guess who found the lens y'all?  ME.  Winner, winner chicken dinner.

We made it to the restaurant and what a fantastic place!  The deep dish pizza was heaven in a pan, and the restaurant was super sweet to us...we were treated like we were important, even though we totally aren't.  There was an abundance of food, wine, singing Jann Arden songs, and Hey Mickey verses in honor of the coolest waitress ever, Mickey. Just look at this food you guys:

I fully admit here in front of the Internets and the baby Jesus that I loved the big sausages in the first pizza.

Amy took us out on the town to a super fun piano bar called the RedHead.
I love people watching, and drunk people watching is even better.  Especially when people don't realize how ridiculous they look, all middle-aged and making out in a bar.....  The piano guy stole my heart when he played Paradise by the Dashboard Light.  CLASSIC.

What fun, sweaty, music and booze filled night!  A fantastic foursome of bloggy girls :)

Saturday brought us sleeping in a bit, grabbing a light, late breakfast, and hitting the town tourist-style.  Being Sarah's first time to Chicago, she wanted to do Millenium Park.  GORGEOUS.  I'll let the photos speak for me:

The infamous "Bean."  Or as I call it, Giant Shiny Clitoris.  And yes, I flicked the bean.

It's like some alien vaginal ultrasound, no?

We then hit Navy Pier for a ton of walking, food, exploring, and souvenir shopping.  What an awesome place the Pier is!

We were even treated to a Snappy Surprise hat show.......

And apparently to some people (Mickey the wondrous waitress), Marianna looks a bit like Sarah Palin.  I disagree.  Marianna is too pretty and smart and educated for that.  But we did take a moment to poke fun. "I can see Russia from my house!"

There were some fun cab rides with crazy cabbies and of course, some more shopping/browsing (Charming Charlie, what a GREAT store) and then we hit the river for Chicago's Architectural Boat Tour.

Us in a cab. Livin' the dream.

This city has got "IT" when it comes to architecture.  WOWZA.

The Shoreline Boat Tour was awesome and educational and Jeff the tour guide was super cool.  The only thing he didn't do was play the harmonica.  That seemed to be a sore spot when another boat cruised by with a guide jamming it out blues style.  It's okay tour guide Jeff.  We aren't hating.  I personally would've hated the harmonica.  Although it *would* have drowned out the constant chatter of the bachelorette party girls in front of us.  SHUT UP WOMEN GEEZ.  Also Shoreline people?  WAY TO GO ON THE DRINKS.  That was a LOT of vodka in that vodka lemonade.  For only $5.00.  I freaking love you for that.

There's seemingly a crazy rumor going around that I did a random somersault in the middle of the city.

OKAY OKAY I TOTALLY DID.

It just felt right at the time you guys.

Alright, alright kids. This has gotten WAY too long.  I'll be back with the second and final installment of Cheesy Chicago.

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