Tales of a Fugly Sweater Saturday
Well, I've gone from overly prolific blogging to a sharp downturn in my posting production recently. I'd love to blame it on being super busy, but alas, it's simply because I've been super lazy. My weekend started out fun, and ended up with me on the couch with a bag of chips, Edward Cullen on my big screen, and a nap.
I spent time with some good friends and all our kiddos for my birthday on Friday. We had a great night eating and chatting as normal grown ups with kids do.
Then, I reconnected with 1987 for an Ugly Holiday Sweater party on Saturday.
I channeled 1987 first by choosing a fugly Christmas sweater with larger than life shoulder pads from the local Good Will. The $3.00 I paid for this nightmare of hand knitting was generous, let me tell you. I was literally looking like a linebacker covered in trees, holly, nutcrackers, and little red balls. (hee, hee, my sweater had nutcrackers and balls on it. Did ya get it? Are you laughing?) Anyway, I was extra lucky when I found little teddy-bears-wearing-santa-hat earrings, and a homemade wooden and beaded Santa necklace to complete my ensemble. As I got dressed, I figured I'd go all out, crimp my hair, and freeze it solid with AquaNet I found at Walgreens. Hello 80s! And yes, I have a crimper. Wanna talk smack about it? Didn't think so.
The ugly sweater party was a lot of fun. We generally looked like Christmas puked all over us then handed us lots of drinks. Thankfully, no one else besides Christmas did any puking. We had a prize for the winner of the ugliest sweater vote.... to really class it up, the prize was my homemade decorated stocking with lottery tickets, a forty of beer, and a chocolate bar. Winner dude chugged the beer, about tossed his cookies, and won $2.00 off my lottery tickets. I think I should demand half of the winnings.
I had a lot of first time experiences that evening as well. I played beer pong for the first time ever. My team lost both times. Must have been rigged I'm guessing. My hand-eye coordination isn't normally that bad. But after a few Smirnoff Tuscan lemonades something went drastically wrong with my balance and ability to calmly and evenly toss a ping pong ball across a table. I also witnessed my first ever vibrating Rudolph necklace/accessory. Seriously. It was a Rudolph necklace. That vibrated. Make him into a belt and you could mass market that bad boy. I'd buy three.
I always can tell when I've had a good night, and all the signs were there that this was, in fact, a great time. Here's a handy reference list I'll call:
A. I have dozens of pictures of me making that horrible kissy face to the camera. (it's cute when you're 14 and a size 2, not so much when you're 33 and a non size 2.)
B. I yelled my Amy Poehler in Baby Mama OH OHHHH! noise more times than I could count. here
C. I have a picture of me laying on the floor with a dog licking my face.
D. Everyone became my bestest friend in the whole world and I hugged them repeatedly.
D. I was belching up Bud Light, pretzels, and spinach dip for hours.
E.. I fell asleep before my body was fully laying down in bed.
The only items missing from my list that are typically included are:
F. I get paranoid and belligerant and think everyone is looking at me funny and I need to kick some stranger's ass.
G. I have deep, meaningful conversations with random girls as we wait in that insanely long line to the ladies room at a bar.
H. I squeal, "I LOVE THIS SONG" to every single song played. The. Entire. Night.
But overall, an excellent evening. I highly recommend everyone attend an Ugly Holiday Sweater party.
This is what led up to me on the couch with a bag of chips, my green Snuggie, and Eclipse in the DVD player. I'm too old to party like it's 1987 anymore though, cuz poor Edward couldn't even keep me awake. I made it through roughly to the part where Jacob kissed Bella and she punched his manly, chiseled face when I began my glorious Sunday afternoon, post fugly sweater party snooze session. It was an awesome nap too.
I spent time with some good friends and all our kiddos for my birthday on Friday. We had a great night eating and chatting as normal grown ups with kids do.
Then, I reconnected with 1987 for an Ugly Holiday Sweater party on Saturday.
I channeled 1987 first by choosing a fugly Christmas sweater with larger than life shoulder pads from the local Good Will. The $3.00 I paid for this nightmare of hand knitting was generous, let me tell you. I was literally looking like a linebacker covered in trees, holly, nutcrackers, and little red balls. (hee, hee, my sweater had nutcrackers and balls on it. Did ya get it? Are you laughing?) Anyway, I was extra lucky when I found little teddy-bears-wearing-santa-hat earrings, and a homemade wooden and beaded Santa necklace to complete my ensemble. As I got dressed, I figured I'd go all out, crimp my hair, and freeze it solid with AquaNet I found at Walgreens. Hello 80s! And yes, I have a crimper. Wanna talk smack about it? Didn't think so.
The ugly sweater party was a lot of fun. We generally looked like Christmas puked all over us then handed us lots of drinks. Thankfully, no one else besides Christmas did any puking. We had a prize for the winner of the ugliest sweater vote.... to really class it up, the prize was my homemade decorated stocking with lottery tickets, a forty of beer, and a chocolate bar. Winner dude chugged the beer, about tossed his cookies, and won $2.00 off my lottery tickets. I think I should demand half of the winnings.
I had a lot of first time experiences that evening as well. I played beer pong for the first time ever. My team lost both times. Must have been rigged I'm guessing. My hand-eye coordination isn't normally that bad. But after a few Smirnoff Tuscan lemonades something went drastically wrong with my balance and ability to calmly and evenly toss a ping pong ball across a table. I also witnessed my first ever vibrating Rudolph necklace/accessory. Seriously. It was a Rudolph necklace. That vibrated. Make him into a belt and you could mass market that bad boy. I'd buy three.
I always can tell when I've had a good night, and all the signs were there that this was, in fact, a great time. Here's a handy reference list I'll call:
"Signs that I've had too Good of a Time Socializing, Enjoying Cocktails, & Causing Mischief."
B. I yelled my Amy Poehler in Baby Mama OH OHHHH! noise more times than I could count. here
C. I have a picture of me laying on the floor with a dog licking my face.
D. Everyone became my bestest friend in the whole world and I hugged them repeatedly.
D. I was belching up Bud Light, pretzels, and spinach dip for hours.
E.. I fell asleep before my body was fully laying down in bed.
The only items missing from my list that are typically included are:
F. I get paranoid and belligerant and think everyone is looking at me funny and I need to kick some stranger's ass.
G. I have deep, meaningful conversations with random girls as we wait in that insanely long line to the ladies room at a bar.
H. I squeal, "I LOVE THIS SONG" to every single song played. The. Entire. Night.
But overall, an excellent evening. I highly recommend everyone attend an Ugly Holiday Sweater party.
This is what led up to me on the couch with a bag of chips, my green Snuggie, and Eclipse in the DVD player. I'm too old to party like it's 1987 anymore though, cuz poor Edward couldn't even keep me awake. I made it through roughly to the part where Jacob kissed Bella and she punched his manly, chiseled face when I began my glorious Sunday afternoon, post fugly sweater party snooze session. It was an awesome nap too.
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