In Case You Ever Wondered What it Would Be Like to Be Married to Me

In the wee hours of the morning, before the sun is up or alarm clocks have gone off....

Me:  Hubby.  Wake up.  Wake up.  WAKE. UP.
Hubby:  Hmm??  *grunt, moan, roll over*
Me:  We need to have a serious talk.  Now.  Are you even listening?  Cuz this is SERIOUS.
Hubby: What?
Me:  I've lost 25 pounds and my boob are drooping.  Like, National Geographic style.  Like, would you like syrup with your pancakes? drooping.
Hubby: Huh?
Me:  I'm serious.  This is serious.  It's pretty much emergency stuff here.  I need a boob job.  Buy me one. Here, feel.  (make him feel)
Hubby:  Um, no.
Me:  Ok then.  I'm getting one.
Hubby:  Just push them up.
Me:  I can't wear a bra FOREVER.  I'm getting a boob job.
Hubby:  Um, no.
Me:  Ok so it's settled.  I'm getting one.  Good talk hubby.
Hubby: ????

And then I immediately texted Marianna about it because SHE LISTENS to me.

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I am a wife, mommy, and all around productive member of society. Usually. I'm pretty much a legend in my own mind.


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