12 Days of Christmas, Sarcastic-style

  To the tune of, "Twelve Days of Christmas"

On the 1st day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...

A possible case of whooping cough and a sneeze.

On the 2nd day of Christmas, the universe gave to me....

2 nice new pimples

And a possible case of whooping cough and a sneeze.

On the 3rd day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...

3 eyerolls from the Hubby

2 nice new pimples

And a possible case of whooping cough and a sneeze.

On the 4th day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...

4 Amazon.com packages

3 eyerolls from the Hubby

2 nice new pimples

And a possible case of whooping cough and a sneeze.

On the 5th day of Christmas, the universe gave to me....

5 glasses of wine!
4 Amazon.com packages

3 eyerolls from the Hubby

2 nice new pimples

And a possible case of whooping cough and a sneeze.

On the 6th day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...

6 hits on the snooze button

5 Glasses of wine!

4 Amazon.com packages

3 eyerolls from the Hubby

2 nice new pimples

And a possible case of whooping cough and a sneeze

On the 7th day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...

7 rude shoppers at Target

6 hits on the snooze button

5 Glasses of wine!
4 Amazon.com packages

3 eyerolls from the Hubby

2 nice new pimples

And a possible case of whooping cough and a sneeze

On the 8th day of Christmas, the universe gave to me

8 half-empty rolls of wrapping paper
7 rude shoppers at Target

6 hits on the snooze button

5 Glasses of wine!
4 Amazon.com packages

3 eyerolls from the Hubby

2 nice new pimples

And a possible case of whooping cough and a sneeze

On the 9th day of Christmas, the universe gave to me....

9 replays of Will Ferrells' Elf

8 half-empty rolls of wrapping paper

7 rude shoppers at Target

6 hits on the snooze button

5 Glasses of wine!
4 Amazon.com packages

3 eyerolls from the Hubby

2 nice new pimples

And a possible case of whooping cough and a sneeze

On the 10th day of Christmas, the universe gave to me....

10 lbs gained from fudge and cookies

9 replays of Will Ferrells' Elf

8 half-empty rolls of wrapping paper

7 rude shoppers at Target

6 hits on the snooze button

5 Glasses of wine!
4 Amazon.com packages

3 eyerolls from the Hubby

2 nice new pimples

And a possible case of whooping cough and a sneeze

On the 11th day of Christmas, the universe gave to me....

11 garbage bags full from unwrapping
10 lbs gained from fudge and cookies

9 replays of Will Ferrells' Elf

8 half-empty rolls of wrapping paper

7 rude shoppers at Target

6 hits on the snooze button

5 Glasses of wine!
4 Amazon.com packages

3 eyerolls from the Hubby

2 nice new pimples

And a possible case of whooping cough and a sneeze

On the 12th day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
12 awesome blog followers!

11 garbage bags full from unwrapping
10 lbs gained from fudge and cookies

9 replays of Will Ferrells' Elf
8 half-empty rolls of wrapping paper
7 rude shoppers at Target
6 hits on the snooze button
5 "Glasses of wine!
4 Amazon.com packages
3 eyerolls from the Hubby
2 nice new pimples
And a possible case of whooping cough and a sneeze