So Something I Would Do

This morning, in my usual hectic rush to get out of the door to work, I tossed my purse, extra bag, coat, and thermos of coffee in the car before getting in. (I proudly take a giant, construction-worker quality thermos full of caffinated goodness to work everyday.  The Hubby bought if for me so I stop going to Starbucks so much. I don't even care that I may look like I'm about to go roof a house or pave a road, I love that giant, manly thermos of mine.) And, I know I'm not wearing my coat in the middle of winter, but I don't typically wear it because I hate wearing coats while driving, and I run around in such a mad rush every morning I'm already sweating like a fiend and don't need the added layer to make it worse.

I hop in the car, shut the door, and reach for the keys in the ignition.
No keys.
WTH?  Of course I'd forget my keys.  But before I return to the house to run around like an insane fool and yell about my missing keys, I decide to look around me and the car first.

I search my purse.  No keys. 
I search my coat pockets... no keys. 
Crap.
I'm gonna have to go back inside and punish my poor family with my lost keys rant. ( I have my "missing items" rant a couple times a week.)

So, I get out of the car and as I turn to shut the door behind me, what do I see laying on my driver's side car seat?  My keys. 

I was sitting on them.

What does that say about my lard butt that I can sit on pieces of jagged metal and not even feel it?