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A One of a Kind Welcome to Seventh Grade

I know how much you all like my stories, so here ya go.

At the end of my sixth grade year, my family moved over 300 miles away from our "home" to take up residence in an entirely new part of the state due to my dad's job.  I went from my birth town of roughly 700 people, to an intermediate town of about 1,500 people, to suddenly a booming metropolis of over 5,000.  Talk about a lack-of-real-culture, culture shock. 

I was super nervous for my first day of school for many, MANY reasons, as you can probably assume.  I was a whole state away from family and friends, I was at the awkward junior high stage of life, we barely moved out of a hotel into a rental home the day before school started, I didn't have the "in" clothes, and in general I was a brooding, hormonal ball of bitchy.  I was a joy to behold. 

Picture it: first day of seventh grade.  Permed hair perfectly gelled to a crisp, bangs teased to monstrous proportions.  Glasses hidden in back pack so there would be one less thing to tease me about.  Best clothes on.  Trapper keeper stocked.  I stepped onto the bus with my older sister and away we went to hell school.

My memory of most events of that day are pretty hazy or completely erased, except for homeroom.  I had homeroom in the art room, and my short, pudgy teacher seemed nice enough.  She kindly placed me next to some poor soul whose job it would be to get me around to my classes that day.  The girl was super nice, therefore, she became my insant BFF.  Unbeknownst to her, of course.   I was given a seat across from her, sat down, and was immediately welcomed to my new town and school by the odd and dirty "outcast," we'll refer to him as "J", in the best way he knew how to impress a new girl... by picking his fucking scabs and flinging them at her. 

You read that correctly.  Scabs. All over body.  PickedFLINGED and FLICKED.

I must admit, you've gotta hand it to J for such a unique welcoming to the new girl.  My day only went uphill from there.  Thanks bud!

Here's a rendering:

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I am a wife, mommy, and all around productive member of society. Usually. I'm pretty much a legend in my own mind.

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