|See? A caraffe.|
It was then that I was immediately compared to the Unibomber, told I should write a manifesto, and I had a complete lightbulb moment.
I SO NEED TO WRITE A MANIFESTO.
Like the motherfucking Unibomber. But less murderous and stabby and insane.
So ladies and gentlemen, here is my manifesto. I have to publish it now before I move to my remote cabin and likely have no Internet connection.
First off, what even IS a manifesto, you may wonder?
Well, I looked it up for you. A manifesto is a public declaration of principles and intentions, often political in nature. Manifestos relating to religious belief are generally referred to as creeds. Manifestos may also be life stance-related.
Hmm. I definitely don't want to get all political, because basically our government is full of greedy, overpaid, selfish, pompous, narrow-minded assholes and going political may piss some people off. And I don't want to go all religious, because I don't even go to church. So I guess my manifesto will be life stance-related. And manifestos are usually pretty lengthy documents. I'm too lazy for that shit. So, here's my manifesto. My summed up life stance.
You've gotta fucking lighten up and laugh, people.
Short and sweet, eh? Oh, and if a manifesto can have a PS, it'd be this:
Stop driving like assholes. Seriously. Common sense you guys.
Now I've gotta run. There's some property in Canada I'm going to have to go check out.