Don't Call Me Monica

Guys, I've probably mentioned this before but I wanted to bring it up again so I have witnesses and my story is air tight.  I can only assume that my blog is monitored by the CIA for reasons of top secret national security, so it's better to be safe than sorry.

The President is clearly in love with me.

Proof?  You betcha.
Check out these emails from my inbox.

I must be SO good at playing hard to get I don't even know when I'm playing because you can tell by the email subjects that he's gotten quite desperate and needy yet I've never met the man before in my life.  But he's the President which means he's probably got my phones and computers bugged so he can watch me longingly from a distance.

If only I could make David Beckham feel this way about me.  I'd be set.