Something Very, Very Bad Has Happened and I'm Very, Very Scared So Hold Me.

People.
I can no longer find cheeseburger-flavored Doritos in ANY of my local stores. NONE.  They have completely disappeared.
What the FUCK has happened?
Did some freedom-hating terrorists snatch them all up and steal the secret recipe?
Do the Doritos people suddenly hate me, therefore hate America?
It is my Constitutional right to purchase and eat cheeseburger Doritos and I can't find them anymore and I'm scared.
Did they stop making them?
Why Doritos??  WHY???

Come back to me chips.  Come back....

I'm considering protesting at wherever Doritos headquarters are.
I'll take my pillow and my snuggie and lay down on the sidewalk in front of their building and sob hysterically until they shove some bags in my sad little hands.  I will do this for America.  Because we are the land of democracy and freedom and opportunity and tasty snacks.