I Think It's Fairly Safe to Assume I'm Famous Because Now People Are Just Effing With Me. Also? The Facbook is On My Shit List.

It all started with  my Facebook account.  I attempted to link my last blog post onto my profile to share with all the ingrates, I mean, friends I have on there, and I received notification that my blog has been marked as "abusive" and "offensive" and FB can no longer allow me to link it.
So I'm all frustrated, but not yet pissed, cuz clearly this has been some sort of mistake. And the Xanax is keeping me apathetic "calm" these days.
And to show my great sense of humor and that I can laugh with the best of them at this "mistake," I post this as my FB status:  to the ass hat that marked my blog as abusive and offensive so I can no longer post it here?  I will find out who you are and where you live you douche canoe so bring it.
I'd like to personally thank Jenny The Bloggess and Moog at Mental Poo for teaching me the phrase "douche canoe."  I hope it's not copyrighted or patented or whatever because I just now borrowed it three times without permission.
So anyhoo, I left that as my status to teach that particular ass hat a lesson.  I also notice that I've gone down one in my friends count so I'm thinking it may have been that person who did it and then defriended me to be a double douche canoe.  Then I spend about 2 minutes trying to figure out who's missing from my friends but hello?  I have so many I can't keep them all straight  my memory sucks.
Then I notice that mysteriously, the status update I just posted is gone.  Poof!  Nowhere on my FB anywhere.
What. The. Hell?
Now I'm passed frustrated and into pissed with a hint of conspiracy theorist on the side and think I've been hacked so I up my account security settings to notify me when someone attempts log in to my FB and I also change my password which can I just say sucks donkey because I use the same exact password for everything because my memory sucks and now I have one more thing to try and remember but likely forget.  And I know what you're thinking.  That using the same password for everything is stupid but my response to that is, I know you are but what am I?
I emailed FB to let them know that my blog isn't abusive or offensive (to some) and that it's not spam and I want it back.  We'll see what the Facebook says.
Then last night I got an email from the Facebook saying someone from whatever IP address in Middletown, New York just attempted log in to my FB.  Seriously dude?  If you want to take over my life, fine.  Included in the deal is about 50 extra pounds, $20,000 in student loan debt, lots of poopy diapers, what I can only assume is a turkey gobble neck thing starting, and crow's feet. Pick someone better, ass hat.
So I changed my password again and I'm sorts of confused and not sure how to log in to my own FB anymore and I'm thinking I may have to contact the ass hat in NY to see how to get into my own FB.  The hell?
You may be wondering if there's a point or lesson to this post, like about Internet safety or some such, but if you're wondering about the lesson, then clearly you don't know me very well because all I do is ramble some verbal vomit with loads of sarcasm and the occasional naughty word.
I've got no lesson, other than, be careful who you hack cuz I'll find you.  Plus, if my blog is already labeled as abusive and offensive, I take that as a challenge and I will live up to that label.  Because I'm an overachiever and I don't wanna let people down, even ass hats.
And?  I've finally "made it"because people want to be me and my God it's good to be famous.

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I am a wife, mommy, and all around productive member of society. Usually. I'm pretty much a legend in my own mind.


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