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The Carb Cravings are Dwindling & I'm Feeling Way Less Stabby, but I'm More than a Tad Tired of Seeing Lettuce, Which Likely Led to My Torrid Affair with Salmon

The title pretty much says it all.
I can't be too bitchy nasty towards a diet that has allowed me to drop some pounds so efficiently and quickly.  I'm all about the instant gratification people.  And don't lecture me about how this isn't a "natural" or "healthy" way to lose weight and once you stop the diet you'll gain it all back blah, blah, yadda, yadda.
I can't hearrrrrr youuuuu..... *fingers in ears, humming*
So having salad and hard boiled eggs everyday is annoying.  Word.  Last night I had salmon and steamed broccoli and was completely psyched about it.  Cuz it wasn't a salad.  I ate it with gusto and delight and it was tasty and good and I loved it so much I could've hugged it.  I was all, hey salmon.  How YOU doin?  Good to see you.  Even better to eat you.   What's this I see?  You don't have lettuce attached to you.  Bonus.  YUM. I never wanted that piece of fish to end.  I savored every single bite  and I chewed and swallowed slower than I ever have before (get your minds outta the gutters you guys!).  I ate the broccoli first, because unlike Wee One, I eat what I dislike the most first to get it out of the way so I can fully savor the food I want the most.  Little Miss Wee One will  tank up on the food she loves first and then save the rest for last.   Not a philosophy I subscribe to.  Other philosophies I don't subscribe to: "pay it forward," "do unto others," good things come to those who wait," "honesty is the best policy," "think before  you speak," and "balance your checkbook."
Back to the salmon.  It was seasoned and lovely and moist and gone all too soon. I fell in love with that salmon.  It made me feel good like a real woman eating a real meal should feel.  Take that salad. You make me feel empty and sad, like I just ate paper with ranch dressing. Which I totally would, but I think paper may have carbs.  I'm plotting when I can have the salmon again.  I didn't cook it, by the way.  It was carry out.  God bless America for all her carry out options. And the plethora of people to make fun of.  And democracy.

I think my whole point here may just be that although I'm not super stabby and crazed and in attack mode currently, I'm still missing my carbs.  I'm past anger and violence, and into depressed in the carbohydrate-free diet grief cyle
Besides my loving and licking enjoying salmon, there are other ways I can tell I may be in the depression phase of my carb-loss grief cycle.
Diet Depression Evidence #2:  I swept the floor.  For no reason at all.
Diet Depression Evidence #3:  I was nice to the Hubby today and allowed a public display of affection.  I know, right? 
Diet Depression Evidence #4:  Insomnia.  I didn't take a nap today.  And it's currently 10:46 PM.  That's NIGHT time.  And I'm still awake.  *shaking head*
Diet Depression Evidence #5:  I barely made fun of the losers on the Extreme Couponers show I saw tonight.  They were all giddy over buying 1,000 toothbrushes for free and spending 70 hours a week clipping coupons and planning shopping trips for toilet paper and showing off their stock piles of crap in their garages turned pantries.  But hey, they saved some bucks on stuff they don't even need and are ready for the zombie apocalypse.  I bet they could bean all those zombies in the head with the 10, 000 cans of Campbell's soup they have.  The zombies won't even know what hit em.  The war would be won by extreme couponers and their 2,ooo bottles of diet Pepsi and 150 bars of Butterfingers stashed in their garages.  That they got for free.  Kudos to them.  Did I already call them losers?  I just made fun of them again.  There's hope for me yet.
Yay!  Look at me!  In a dumpster.  For the coupons.






You'll have to forgive me for posting too much about my no carb state of mind lately.  But it's my blog.  So there.  You can't tell me what to do. Wanna try?  I dare you. 
Shit, I got crabby again.  
I never claimed to be totally cured of my grouchiness, I'm just less likely to bite you to get your cinnamon roll.  Grief is a cycle people, not a straight line.

5 Comment:

Jules January 16, 2011 at 11:43 AM  

I will help you grieve your carbs by eating them. Enjoy the salmon.

Brahm (alfred lives here) January 16, 2011 at 8:03 PM  

Fun post -- so glad I found your blog.

Big kudos to your for sticking to this or any diet. I really really really intend to do the same. Once I finish these bagels...

JUST ME January 17, 2011 at 10:45 AM  

Giving up carbs is against my Italian lifestyle. I'm pretty sure I'd be kicked out of my heritage if I tried.

Karli January 17, 2011 at 4:20 PM  

I saw your comment on The Bloggess and the low-carb title of this blog post lured me in. I started low-carb living back in April, lost about 30 pounds in three months and have kept it off and then some. No, it's not easy and yes it's a permanent "lifestyle change" if you do intend to keep them off and no, it's not for everyone. But, all that to say - low-carb has become my new way of life and it's perfect for me. Good luck to you!

I blogged a bit about it and I still update occasionally and share yummy recipes I find, so feel free to check it out if interested!

http://www.wordskannotdescribe.blogspot.com

SherilinR January 19, 2011 at 9:00 PM  

i love your philosophies to which you don't subscribe. and also, your lady in the dumpster. cuz she might have saved 2 dollas (makes her holla) but now she smells like hot dumpster juice & it just doesn't get much worse than that!

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