I'd Like to Thank the Academy, but Technically Since They've Never Given Me Anything and I've Never Done Anything Worthwhile, Then I Guess Thanking Them Would Be Asinine.

Ohmygod this is ALMOST as Awesome as Giving Birth!!  A Total Close Second.I've been given my first award!!!!!!  Breathe... blink.... breathe.... focus....

I'm beyond excited and can't wrap my brain around why on earth some fabulous blogger out there would bestow any sort of award on me.  Unless it's the "this blog sucks" award.  Or the "she thinks she's funny but my God she's the opposite of funny" award.  Or better yet, the "Christ, they let just about anyone have a blog these days, don't they?  Even the crappy writers like this chick" award.

Ready to see it?  Grab hold of your seat.

 

 BAM!

I made the pic WAY bigger than it should be cuz it's that awesome to me.

Today.  Written down on calendar. For life.  So when I'm winning other awards such as Tonys and Golden Globes and Razzys and Emmys and Super Bowl rings I can look back fondly on my first award.  *sigh*

So, the rules of the Stylish Blogger Award:

1. Thank and  Link back to the person who awarded you this.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pay it forward to 5 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact those bloggers and tell them about their award.

I'm not the best at following directions cuz I always forget #1 by the time I'm at like, #3, but I'm giving it my all here.  I'm still flustered that I even got this thing.  Wowza!

A HUGE shout out thank you to Rachel at The Rachel Chronicles for choosing me for this blog award. I'm following her blog, stat.  She refers to herself as "batshit crazy," therefore she's totally a kindred spirit.  If you need a kidney or someone to buy some Girl Scout cookies, or a new cornea Rachel, I've got your back.  I owe you at least that.

Seven Things about Myself:

1.  I married my high school sweetheart.  He calls it love.  I call it "lack of options."

2.  I'm terrified, and I mean terrified of possums.  We had one dig under our back deck, curl up, die and fester and rot all maggot-like, just to torture me.  Another died in the middle of our backyard.  Again, just to torture me.  I don't know what it is about their beady, evil eyes and long snout and nasty ass claws, but Ewww gross.  Plus, who can trust an animal that acts all dead, and when you least expect it, it jumps to life and scares the living daylights out of you? And they hiss.  UGH.

3.  I have a slightly irrational fear of electrical fires.  If I see a spark when you unplug something from an outlet, I won't sleep for a whole night.  I'll just sit and stare at that outlet, not blinking, just watching for the inevitable smoke and billowing flames.  Don't even get me started on how "batshit crazy" I get when the Hubby does his own electrical work, like replacing a ceiling fan.  

4.  I have MS, but that's like, totally on my back burner of life.  I don't even think about it most days. I was diagnosed suddenly and unexpectedly almost 5 years ago, and was on treatment within 4 weeks of my diagnosis.  I give myself injections every other night, aka, I "shoot up," and I credit these expensive ass, painful, poisonous shots with the awesome long remission I'm in.  Plus, I get to tell people I "shoot up" and it's legit and legal.  I sound cool and dangerous, yet I'm merely slowing my illness with a prescription drug.  Bonus. I'm still scoring 0 on the disability scales and rocking out my neuro exams.  I don't have symptoms, feel great, and am lucky as all hell.  Oh, and by the way, I don't do pity. Can't stand it.  Hate when people go, "Aww, I'm so sorry." Pity=yuck.  Suck it.  Unless pity comes with giving me cash and presents and special favors.  Then I'm all over it.

5.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE pickled eggs.  Never had one?  Try them.  YUMMO.   

6.  I pretty much have zero leg hair, so I never have to shave my legs.  Maybe I have a bum thyroid, I don't know.  Nor do I care.  I rarely have to shave my legs.  Even in summer.  I don't even wear shorts anyway, cuz my shots leave horrid ugly bruises on my skin.  Maybe once a month or so I'll shave the soft peachy fuzz hair off, just for kicks and to feel like a normal woman.

7.  I chew off the skin around my fingernails.  Gross, I know, but I could give a possum's nasty ass tail.


Now I have to pay it forward to some bloggers I've recently discovered.  Only 5??  No fair.  There are so many good ones out there! And since I'm fairly new to this blogging shindig, there are so many that are new to me, but not to others.  So I'm gonna just say fuck it and go for it.

Okay, so here goes:

First I'd like to pass this off to Holly at Are You Serious?  She makes me laugh and she loves the Golden Girls and a good dose of profanity.  AND she won my random giveaway prize of holy awesomeness, so I've gotta give her a shout out. WORD.

Next, I'd like to give this to the Sassy Curmudgeon because who doesn't love themselves some SASS?? She's been blogging for a while, but again, she's new to me, therefore I'm going with it, so deal, okay? I totally had to look up the definition of curmudgeon and found it's is a crusty, cranky old man, but sassy girl Una... well she's a girl.  I'm not sure if she's crusty though.  Now I wonder if she's crusty.  Like extra crispy, Kentucky-fried crusty, or original crusty?

Passing one off to Mommy A at Being Veruca.  She's a hard working mom, student, wife, and blogger.  And calls herself Keeper of the Crayons and a drama queen.  I'm all about the drama queen thing.  I've been nicknamed "Mel" as in "melodramatic" by a friend.  I gotta be me, home skillet.

I gotta hand one over to Pleasantly Demented. She's been blogging for a while but she's new to me and she's married to her high school sweetheart like me and her bassett hound is cute and she's witty as hell.

And my last has to go to again, someone who's blogged for a bit longer than me, but she's new to me....
Living Shallow, Living Well, there is just NO better title picture than yours on your blog.  She cracks my ass up whenever I read her posts.  Keep it up,  Shallow!

Okay.  That was tough, but well worth it.

Now that I'm done listing the bloggers I'm re-gifting the award to, I'm gonna contact them.  Then take a nap.  This was tiring, yo.