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Half Assed Weekend Post of Randomness, Now With Dry Weave and Flexi-Wings

Some other bloggers I follow do a half-assed weekend post. I figured I'd get on the bandwagon and follow along.
That's me.  A total follower.

Happy Weekend.  I hit the grocery store early this morning, by myself, which was quiet and heavenly and wonderful.  Weather has it that we're looking at some serious snow storm stuff in a couple of days.  Plus, I've got cupcakes to bake.  I'm making cold oven pound cake cupcakes with homemade strawberry whipped cream.  Recipes here at the Cupcake Project blog.

Once in the store, I grabbed that cart.  You know, the cart that never drives correctly cuz one wheel is fucked up?  I always get that damned cart.  Without fail.  If I could only channel that *luck* when I pick out a lottery ticket....
And I noticed as I walked by the mini carts, those tiny shopping carts for people who are opposite of me, who don't ever go in and drop $200 on food, that someone left an unopened Milky Way bar behind.  I paused for a moment, seriously debating on whether or not I should rescue this orphaned and alone candy bar.  I didn't.  But I wanted to.  Cuz hey, free candy bar.  You know you would've considered it too you guys....

 I'm still on my crochet kick.  I was pretty excited to buy some clearanced crocheted scarves and beanie hats yesterday for $4.00 each.  That I'll totally pass of as if they are my own handmade pretties.  Next I'm gonna figure out how to make some of these crochet masterpieces.

By the way, I'm a little appalled, and very highly amused at the definition of crochet in Urban Dictionary.
Slut bucket.  Yep, totally me.  And I completely forgot about the existence of Cracker Barrel restaurants.  Thanks Urban Dictionary!

Boys may want to stop reading now.  Or anyone else with standards may wish to as well.  Or if you have a delicate stomach, stop.  Or if you contain a sense of decency that I clearly lack, skip to the end.  Sorry about what's coming next Hubby.  And Mom.

So, my "friend" is here to visit.  You know, aunt Flo.  Cousin Red.  Sally.  The Red Tide. I'm trying out the new drug Lysteda to see if it helps cut down on what I kindly refer to as "hemorrhaging" after my second baby/c-section.  It's some pill that doesn't contain hormones, but has acid in it, which seems kinda worse, but what do I know, right?  It's used to treat what their website calls, "HMB"  (heavy menstrual bleeding) when it "interferes with your social, leisure, and physical activities."  By the way, I don't call it "HMB."  I call it "DIGMFPA," or, "Dammit, I've Got my Fucking Period AGAIN." And, whose heavy period doesn't interfere with their social, leisure, and physical activities?  Totally wrecks my weekends once a month...... 
I'd love to join you in the hot tub, but I have HMB.  Can we do that naked massage next week?  I have HMB.  Oh, I'd love to go streaking during pub crawl, but I have HMB.  I'm bothered by something though, if it cuts the flow down by 1/3, where does it go?  Will I have unexpected bloody noses?  Will my gums bleed when I floss?  Seriously.  Where will that extra 1/3 go???

Lastly, you know I love my cat, Colby.  And at the same time I'm perplexed and annoyed by him.
But this?  This just proves what us cat people already know.....

Cats ARE smarter than dogs.  Evidence:

4 Comment:

SherilinR January 30, 2011 at 10:50 PM  

i like to think of my period as my personal assistant because i can use it to avoid doing things by making my husband & daughter feel sorry for me. "well.... i'd like to make dinner for you guys, but i've got large quantities of blood free flowing from my vagina, so i'm quite weak and if i move around too much, it'll probably leak down my legs and that might make for a less than sanitary meal for all of us. i think i'll go lie down now." quick dramatic exit.

Rachel January 31, 2011 at 9:29 AM  

I made cupcakes this weekend too. Then I spent Satuday night throwing them up. I'm never eating cupcakes again. Chocolate may be off the list for a while to, which is ac omplete and total travesty.

However, as someone who has not been poisoned against chocolate, you totally should have taken the Milky Way. Milky Ways are the best. What were you thinking!

FreeFlying February 1, 2011 at 7:40 AM  

I would have eaten the Milky Way. Not doing so is just like spitting on someone who is trying to give you a present. Just mean.

Living Shallow, Living Well February 1, 2011 at 8:52 PM  

When my period gets too heavy I sit in a bucket of sand and meditate.

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