I Find Myself in Love with an Inanimate Object. Yet Again.

It may come as a total surprise to some of you who've been reading this blog and thinking to yourself, wow, she's gotta be the most normal person I think I know, but I have one or two interesting "quirks." One of which is a list of nonhuman objects that I heart.  With a passion.  As much passion as one can force onto a nonliving, sometimes plastic, sometimes fabric, sometimes battery-operated piece of machinery or tool.

First it was our new, bagless vacuum.  Ohmygod can that thing vacuum like it's 2012 and there's no tomorrow.  Our carpets were never truly clean until this new vacuum came along.

Next came the Snuggie.  Make fun all you want but how cool is it that you can stay covered up yet your hands are free?  AHmazing. 

And this meat chopper thingy-majiggy from Pampered Chef:  Super cool! My favorite kitchen gadget.  Hell, I use it even when there's no meat to choppy up.  Which is weird when you're just trying to stir spaghetti sauce, or attempting to scoop hard boiled eggs out of boiling water, but dude, whatever.  It makes me happy.

 

When I got my Droid phone and slowly figured out how it worked, I was in awe.  And infatuated at once by it's smartphone smartness.  And the free apps. I've played 476 games of SkipBo on that bad boy and there's no end in sight.

My new fridge?  Has instant ice and water right in the door!  Whenever you want it. Hello?  Super amazing.

Then, I fell for my new solid surface countertop.  Don't tell me it's not normal to rub your cheek (face cheek peeps) against the top while murmuring about how much you love your countertop.  And rub it with both hands every time you walk through the kitchen.  And take pictures of it.  And sigh in adoration whenever you glance at it.

Now, it's my new scalp massager.  BAM!

Don't say it's weird looking cuz then I'll say so's your mom and then we'll fight and I don't want to fight.
Head massages are my current obsession.
that's what he said.....


I'll confess that pretty much the only reason I go to get my hair done, besides to color out the godforsaken gray hairs,  is to get my head massaged during the shampoo phase.  Oooo la la.  My toes curl every time.  I have chill bumps just thinking about it.  Did you know your scalp contains thousands of sensitives nerves?  That are just begging to be touched?
I sure did.  And I can't get enough.
that's what he said....

So since I only get my hair done every 6-8 weeks, and Hubby isn't a reliable source of massages, I do what all women must do out of necessity: resort to taking care of my own bidness.  I give myself head massages now.  Daily. 
that's what he said....
Sorry, can't help it.  I'm that immature.

I highly recommend everyone try the head massager.  But not each others.  You could spread lice and other weird itchy shit that way.  Get your own.  You can pick them up cheap at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.  And massage your way to heaven.  I did.  Just now.  A head massage..... while blogging.  In my Snuggie.  Cuz my hands are free to blog AND head massage at the same time, homefries. 

Can't you tell that I'm a more satisfied blogger just by my words?  AHHH.

PS.  whenever I said "head" or "head massage" it in no way was a metaphor for any other massage of any other body part.  I would not blog about that. 
This week anyway....