For Your Valentine's Pleasure: Fun Games We Married People Play

Yesterday I was signing some checks that needed to be taken to the bank and deposited.  Since they all were addressed to both the Hubby and I, I asked him to sign them as well just to be safe.
After he scribbled his signature, he took them all back and wrote under his name on each "for deposit only."
Jokingly, I said to him, "like that's gonna be enough money for the kids and I to run away from you with.  I'd go ahead and clean out every account while I'm there too."
To which Hubby said, "Good luck.  Your name isn't even on the accounts anymore."

It's then that I realize, GAME ON.
And by game, I mean the trickster, happy fun game we sometimes play of "let's see who could make the divorce more interesting."
We've been married for almost 10 years.  We've gotsta have ourselves a little fun now and again.
Don't tell me the Hubby and I are the only ones who do this.....

So now I'm all you would take my name off the bank accounts being as how you're so controlling and demeaning and disrespectful towards me and he's all, you haven't seen control yet, womanNow make me a sammich dammit.
Then I'm all, please don't hit me.  I can't take another black eye.  Do you really want the lawyers and judge to hear about the violence and he goes, whatever, you've been poisoning me for years.
And I go, prove it. That crap won't show up in your blood. And he's all, prove I'm abusive and I'm all, fine, I'll totally scratch my arms but not my face cuz I don't need marks on my face.
Then he goes, I hear your boyfriend is the one who likes to scratch you and I go, but you're drunk all the time so what do you know about anything and he's all, you're an addict and the judge needs to know it.  So I come back with, but whose name is on all those prescription pill bottles and he then goes, oh yeah, well who's the one blogging about her Vicodin-induced time travel and I'm all, toucheWell played, Hubby, well played.

Disclaimer, there were no actual addicted, drunk, and/or abused spouses behind this post.  Any relation to real or fictional people is strictly coincidence.  I am not making light of addicted, drunk, and/or abused spouses. Domestic violence is bullshit and wrong and I'd kick the living crap out of any man I knew was abusing any woman.  Because violence isn't the answer.

We jest in fun because I totally always win the real fights.

So Happy Valentine's Day lovely readers.  Go start a fake fight with your significant other, but follow it up with real make up sex, not fake sex, cuz boring.

3 Comment:

SherilinR February 13, 2011 at 4:28 PM  

haha! we totally have stupid smack talk conversations when we're in a good mood.
and i love the card. makes me think of the tale i heard - a 14 yr old girl goes to the dr. the doc asks her, "are you sexually active?" the girl says, "no." dr says, "how is that possible since you have an STD?" the girl answers, "well, i'm not active. i just lay there."

Rosalind February 14, 2011 at 9:34 AM  

Love it! We do the same thing all the time... Last night was quite interesting, I farted (it was horrible) and he literally KICKED me out of bed on the floor. We ended up in some sort of kick tickle fart fight in the bed. It was fun... it' love.

Aimee February 14, 2011 at 7:47 PM  

Oh husband and I wrestle. That is our fake fighting. A physical knock-down, drag out. I'm 4'6" and he's 5'11"...sooo....everything that is going through your mind is true. I do, in fact, win ;) But seriously, physical fighting is an aphrodisiac. Plus, it gets out a whole shitload of pent-up stress. We tried skydiving, but like fighting better.

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