Something Strange Happened on My Way to Bed
The best way to describe my night last night would be to call it Inception, but without Leonardo or a multimillion dollar budget. But I'm pretty sure the special effects were dead on.
I blew out my bum knee yesterday and it hurts like a bitch. I could tell you some awesomely cool story about how I kicked a potential mugger in the nuggets or hurt it running a marathon to cure cancer, however, those are only slightly accurate.
I was wearing heels, walking in to work, and practicing my supermodel runway walk aka Heidi Klum. But without the amazing legs and hot body and German accent. Word to the wise...don't practice your supermodel walk where it's icy outside and you're not even remotely close to being a model. Write that down.
It's like I excel in stupidity and gracefulness at the same time and obviously would hurt myself by just walking.
It's already a bum knee because it has early arthritis in it and I've had to have fluid drained off it and cortisone shots about 3 times in the past 5 years. So I clearly like my other knee better because it behaves itself.
The main point in all this rambling chaos is that I had to take some narcotics last night wherein I entered a world unknown to mankind. A world in which Vicodin helped me travel back in time and I took cell phone pics to prove it but this morning my phone shows nothing. Just like in Contact when Jody Foster traveled through space but the video doesn't show it. Like that proves anything anyway. Someone must have come into my room before dawn and deleted the pictures of me being in 5th grade again taking duck-face pics of myself to prove I'm a time traveler. Then, I became a giant chocolate bunny and I woke up at one point smelling my hands and declaring that they totally smell like chocolate and I swear to God they truly and actually did smell like delicious milk chocolate. And then I became a crime scene investigator and was digging up a dead, limbless and decapitated body but the head was still talking to me and she was sharing with me her recipe for fried chicken. I also was laying in a water bed all night but we don't technically own a water bed so I'm not sure how that happened but it was delightful.
Don't worry, I'm only taking Ibuprofen during the day. But I'm totally taking my pain med again tonight. I'll keep you posted on my process of enlightenment and space and time travel. However, this time if Marty and Doc or Leonardo don't show up? I'm gonna be super pissed.
I blew out my bum knee yesterday and it hurts like a bitch. I could tell you some awesomely cool story about how I kicked a potential mugger in the nuggets or hurt it running a marathon to cure cancer, however, those are only slightly accurate.
I was wearing heels, walking in to work, and practicing my supermodel runway walk aka Heidi Klum. But without the amazing legs and hot body and German accent. Word to the wise...don't practice your supermodel walk where it's icy outside and you're not even remotely close to being a model. Write that down.
It's like I excel in stupidity and gracefulness at the same time and obviously would hurt myself by just walking.
It's already a bum knee because it has early arthritis in it and I've had to have fluid drained off it and cortisone shots about 3 times in the past 5 years. So I clearly like my other knee better because it behaves itself.
The main point in all this rambling chaos is that I had to take some narcotics last night wherein I entered a world unknown to mankind. A world in which Vicodin helped me travel back in time and I took cell phone pics to prove it but this morning my phone shows nothing. Just like in Contact when Jody Foster traveled through space but the video doesn't show it. Like that proves anything anyway. Someone must have come into my room before dawn and deleted the pictures of me being in 5th grade again taking duck-face pics of myself to prove I'm a time traveler. Then, I became a giant chocolate bunny and I woke up at one point smelling my hands and declaring that they totally smell like chocolate and I swear to God they truly and actually did smell like delicious milk chocolate. And then I became a crime scene investigator and was digging up a dead, limbless and decapitated body but the head was still talking to me and she was sharing with me her recipe for fried chicken. I also was laying in a water bed all night but we don't technically own a water bed so I'm not sure how that happened but it was delightful.
Don't worry, I'm only taking Ibuprofen during the day. But I'm totally taking my pain med again tonight. I'll keep you posted on my process of enlightenment and space and time travel. However, this time if Marty and Doc or Leonardo don't show up? I'm gonna be super pissed.
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1 Comment:
i hope you get to ride in the delorian. but don't hang out with your dad because if back to the future is any kind of teacher, he'll probably hit on you.
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