When a Bad Mood Strikes I Hit Back with Some Mean Shopping Damage

I got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  Any side of any bed that doesn't contain David Beckham is probably the wrong side. Actually, I'm thinking that just the fact I had to get up is what sucked donkey ass.  I bitched and moaned my way to the bathroom and then had the brilliant idea full of wisdom and hope to check the weather in hopes there's some blizzard on my doorstep and I must stay home today.  It's like 45 degrees, so no blizzard.  Suck it weather. That's what I get for a little bit of hope at 5:30 in the morning.

I'm in a God awful shitty mood and I'm getting a sore throat and I'm plotting who I'm gonna take it out on.  Not my kids or Hubby, even though all I got for Vday yesterday was them eating my chocolates and a poopy diaper. Epic fail at romance. EPIC. FAIL.  But I don't care.  Vday can suck it.  So someone at work or in the general public will have to do.  Or obviously you guys because you're masochistic enough to read my random sarcastic crap therefore you can take it.  You know you like it. You're bad and you need to be punished.  Like a blogging equivalent of spanking.

I need retail therapy stat.  I don't want to talk to anyone or do anything productive or responsible or mature.  I want to shop. Because I can't drink right now.
Online shopping is always something that cheers me up a bit.  Because who doesn't love getting new things delivered on their doorstep that they didn't have to tolerate a crowded mall or super store for?

Through Enjoying the Small Things I discovered Etsy and now I'm officially hooked.  Mainly I love the creativity that I can find on there because I have zero crafting and creative abilities.

Check out this sweet hair clip that would look perfect on Wee One.

And I *need* this i Pad cover even though I don't have an i Pad but that's completely Hubby's fault because he's mean and wants me to cry.  I figure if I get this and set it on my counter and weep and whine about my empty i Pad cover he'll totally cave and get me an i Pad.  Because immature mind tricks and tantrums and emotional manipulation are how I roll.

I want to bake some cupcakes and stick these toppers in them and then admire my work and not let anyone eat any cupcakes cuz they'll be too pretty to eat.  I'll show them off and everyone will be all WOW how pretty and I'll be all, you can look but don't touch.  I didn't make these to share.  I made them to make you jealous of my skills. 

I'm not even sure I know what the fuck this is but I'm pretty certain that I must have it.  Now.

It's like an old lady and a newborn baby all wrapped up into one because neither have teeth or bladder control.
And not only does she lay there, in her Depends diaper with her pet sheep or goat or whatever the hell that is, but she's on an effin crocheted Snuggie for Christ's sake, therefore she belongs to me.
Her name is Nell, as in "tay tay in the weeend" which is a running joke in my family, especially with my younger sister who does a hardcore, dead on version of Nell.
Her eyes totally say come hither and lay with me on a bed of roses with my farm animals and share a warmed up Ensure with Metamucil mixed in with me while we watch Wheel of Fortune and play crossword puzzles.  But she says it with less recognizable words and more Nell-ish "maaaay...taaayy.. Oooo... wwwaaaah...chickapaaayyyy."

I fucking love this doll and I want it now and I don't care what the Hubby says.  I'll sit her on my dresser and it'll look like she's watching us.  And judging us.
What?  It's $65.00 freaking dollars?  Shit.  Better start saving up.

I feel better already.
Anyone want to share what they do to cheer themselves up?

3 Comment:

laughingmom February 15, 2011 at 9:09 AM  

Reading others' miserable lives in their blogs never fails to make me happy - I'm not ALONE!!! BTW - that doll looks like the kid in Jerry Maguire...

Mommy A. February 16, 2011 at 4:46 AM  

I am no longer going to read your blog at work because I am now sitting at the nurses' station of a busy ER, randomly cracking up about the doll (which, BTW, creeps me the eff out). You are now for home enjoyment only.

Aimee February 16, 2011 at 3:17 PM  

I've officially begged for your forgiveness for the award you so generously bestowed upon my blog and then totally forgetting about it. Because I suck donkey ass.

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