I Was So Desperate for a Post Topic I Went to a Random Blog Post Topic Generator and Still I Ended Up With Diddley Squat
Don't even ask what possessed me to try out a blog post topic generator to get some ideas for what to write about. My life has been that boring lately. Seriously. I went to bed at 8:30 last night. I read a book for an hour, then crashed. And slept all night. True story. Isn't it sordid and delicious and dirty?
So, in my all-consuming and passionate effort to entertain my readers, I needed to come up with a post, stat. You people need me, I'm aware of that. It's a huge responsibility that I do not take lightly. I'm like your dealer. I need to feed your sarcasm addictions.
So, I do what I'm sure all bloggers of "excellence" do, try out some random post idea generator. Cuz why the hell not?
According to Generator Land's Blog Post Idea Generator, I'm supposed to write about 9 things I like about Columbus Day. I just can't do it. I don't even know when Columbus Day is. I'm sure the people in Columbus do. As do the Native Americans cuz we all know what happened after old Chris showed up in America. But I've got nothing. Sorry.
I select create topic again, and get this: I Love Sanford and Son.
I'm sure they're a wonderful, loveable duo, but I have zero clue who they are. Sorry, yet again. Next....
Attempt #3 gets me: I Hate Twin Peaks.
I totally don't understand this one. I happen to like twin peaks. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the men, but who doesn't appreciate a nice rack? Exactly.
Try 4: My analysis of corn.
Well, well. A topic I can do! Here's my analysis of corn. I love fresh, right from the farm and sold at the farmer's market corn on the cob. Heck, I love corn off the cob. I don't, however, appreciate seeing my corn for the next two days after eating it.
Next up is... I just can't deal with aluminum foil.
Actually, I hate saran wrap more than aluminum foil because it gets all stuck together and I can't peel it apart or tear it out of the box and then I just end up with a clear plastic blob and all sorts of confusion and my food still isn't covered so I go for the foil cuz I can figure that shit out and it tears easily and doesn't ball up or crinkle on purpose to piss me off and my food's nice and covered in the end with foil. So aluminum foil, I actually salute you.
Ok. One last press of the button and then I'm going to give up....
Seven things I hate about stuff.
Well hell, where do I even begin? "Stuff" drives me friggin crazy. Can't stand that shit.
Go to hell "stuff."
PS. I love how one single post from a few weeks ago that mentions gout gets me all sorts of gout ads on this blog now. I wonder what this post will generate.
PPS I'm debating whether or not to change the title of my blog. I'd keep the web address the same, but re-title this thing up. I've never absolutely *loved* my title. It was a rush job to get this thing moving.
What do you think about that idea?
Here's some titles I'm tossing around:
Two Shakes and a Wiggle
Backseat Blogger
And that's all I've got. I have a serious creativity problem this week.
If you have suggestions/ideas/comments, let em rip!
So, in my all-consuming and passionate effort to entertain my readers, I needed to come up with a post, stat. You people need me, I'm aware of that. It's a huge responsibility that I do not take lightly. I'm like your dealer. I need to feed your sarcasm addictions.
So, I do what I'm sure all bloggers of "excellence" do, try out some random post idea generator. Cuz why the hell not?
According to Generator Land's Blog Post Idea Generator, I'm supposed to write about 9 things I like about Columbus Day. I just can't do it. I don't even know when Columbus Day is. I'm sure the people in Columbus do. As do the Native Americans cuz we all know what happened after old Chris showed up in America. But I've got nothing. Sorry.
I select create topic again, and get this: I Love Sanford and Son.
I'm sure they're a wonderful, loveable duo, but I have zero clue who they are. Sorry, yet again. Next....
Attempt #3 gets me: I Hate Twin Peaks.
I totally don't understand this one. I happen to like twin peaks. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the men, but who doesn't appreciate a nice rack? Exactly.
Try 4: My analysis of corn.
Well, well. A topic I can do! Here's my analysis of corn. I love fresh, right from the farm and sold at the farmer's market corn on the cob. Heck, I love corn off the cob. I don't, however, appreciate seeing my corn for the next two days after eating it.
Next up is... I just can't deal with aluminum foil.
Actually, I hate saran wrap more than aluminum foil because it gets all stuck together and I can't peel it apart or tear it out of the box and then I just end up with a clear plastic blob and all sorts of confusion and my food still isn't covered so I go for the foil cuz I can figure that shit out and it tears easily and doesn't ball up or crinkle on purpose to piss me off and my food's nice and covered in the end with foil. So aluminum foil, I actually salute you.
Ok. One last press of the button and then I'm going to give up....
Seven things I hate about stuff.
Well hell, where do I even begin? "Stuff" drives me friggin crazy. Can't stand that shit.
Go to hell "stuff."
PS. I love how one single post from a few weeks ago that mentions gout gets me all sorts of gout ads on this blog now. I wonder what this post will generate.
PPS I'm debating whether or not to change the title of my blog. I'd keep the web address the same, but re-title this thing up. I've never absolutely *loved* my title. It was a rush job to get this thing moving.
What do you think about that idea?
Here's some titles I'm tossing around:
Two Shakes and a Wiggle
Backseat Blogger
And that's all I've got. I have a serious creativity problem this week.
If you have suggestions/ideas/comments, let em rip!
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6 Comment:
I just came across a book title the other day and no nothing about it, but I did put it on hold. However, the title could prove to be an interesting blog post. I thought about using it for my own blog, but I don't get to be quite as open as you. Anyways, how about a post title, "Poser: My Life in 23 Yoga Poses"
Should prove interesting coming from you.
saran wrap NEVER sticks when you wrap it around a dish... but if you aren't careful it wads itself into an impenetrable knot that you can't undo... WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?
also, the little metal spikes on the box to tear it? terrifying.
i like the shakes & wiggle. i'm not quite sure what it pertains to, but it sounds like a fun place to visit.
if you ever find yourself with some pesky saran wrap & in need of some entertainment, you can always put it up to your open mouth & suck really hard & it gives that most delightful pop. very amusing to children, but there's also a slim possibility of having a hunk suck down your throat & kill you, so try to be careful.
The only bad thing about being a backseat blogger is you never have that brake peddle when you really need one...on the good side though, you get to the same place as the driver without all the responsibility of accidents & such. So really it's kind of a win-win depending on your point of view.
Sarcasm is my life's blood so I'm kinda digging your current title but I do know where you're coming from...my title tends to be a red headed stepchild at times as well.
I loved Twin Peaks. I love foil. Hated Sanford and Son. The random blog generator is an a$$hole.
I *just* found you and am here BECAUSE of your blog title.
And since I'm awesome, you should keep it.
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