I Practically Have a Medical Degree Just By Virtue of the Vastness of My Medical Knowledge.

Tales of a Saturday night.  In my house.  Where we are losers and don't go out on Saturday nights anymore.
Be ready to be envious.

TV commercial for some drug for "gout."

Me:  God, I hope I don't get gout.
Hubby.  Yea, that'd suck.  I like being able to walk fine.
Me:  Totally.  Wait....  How is your neck connected to walking?
Hubby:  You're talking about gout.
Me:  Yepper.  So what's that have to do with walking?
Hubby:  Duh.  Gout.  Feet.
Me:  UM, wrong.  What are you thinking gout even is?
Hubby:  That acid build up thing in your feet.
Me:  What the hell:?  It's that big giant bump thing you get in your neck from something like lack of salt or some shit.  Acid in feet?  Whatevs.
Hubby:  That's not gout.
Me:  Oh shit!  That's goiter. I think....
Hubby:  What world are you in?
Me:  How do you get acid in your feet?
Hubby:  I. Don't. Know.

So I look it up.  Uric acid building up in the blood gives someone gout.

Me:  How the hell do you pee in your own blood?
Hubby: What?
Me:  Isn't uric acid pee?  Urine = uric.
Hubby:  I don't freaking know.
Me:  Well you learn something new everyday.  I've learned a new "G" disease.  Goiter.  Gout.  Gonorrhea.
Hubby:  Who's talking about gonorrhea?
Me:  Exactly.
Hubby:  You. Are. Odd.
Me:  Well, at least I don't have gout.  Hey, gout rhymes with grout.  That's how I'll remember it.  You walk on ceramic tile sealed with grout.  Feet can have gout.  Cool mnemonic, right?
Hubby:  Yea, no.
Me:  I need more wine so I can ponder this shit up. I'm practically filled to the brim with medical knowledge.  I must use my talents for good.  And be careful how I pee so I don't get gout.

GOD we'd be fun to hang out with on the weekend, right?

5 Comment:

Mommy A. February 6, 2011 at 12:44 PM  

Okay, this is too much. I'm gonna pee, I think. If you lived next door, I def. think we would have to hang on the weekends! I could soooooo teach you all sorts of medical crap to impress your hubster!

SarcasmInAction February 6, 2011 at 7:48 PM  

if if you *must* pee Mommy A, be all sorts of careful. I don't want you to get gout.

StephanieC February 7, 2011 at 9:39 PM  

lol... I love how Hubby goes along with you, but not really.

Definitely be careful where and how you pee. And if you are in downtown Toronto, always do a hover-pee and don't touch the seat.

I know that isn't related to the uric acid thing in the gout, but it's valuable wisdom, nonetheless!


Seriously?... Reeeally??... Seriously?


Rosalind February 9, 2011 at 11:21 AM  

sounds like conversations at my house on a Saturday night

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