A Mood-Swingy Monday

I wanted to title this post Bipolar Monday, but I didn't want to offend.
Which says a lot, cuz typically I'm offensive at least twice a day, and I usually just go with it.

My day started out tired and gloomy and rushed and full of "running lateness," therefore I was in a funk.

Then, the heavens opened and a bright light shined down on me and filled my soul with glee because my Girl Scout cookies were delivered! Can I get an "amen"?!

I immediately scarfed down half of the Thin Mints, which are my favorite.  Actually, to call them a favorite would be an understatement.  They are my "to die for" kind of Girl Scout cookies.....  Try to take a Thin Mint from me, and I'll bite you.  Hard.  Breaking skin hard. Which is really naughty because Yo Gabba Gabba already taught me to not bite my friends.  But I'd break that cardinal rule over other people foolishly swiping my Thin Mints. Then, after I bite you?  I'll go back to happily chomping down my cookies.

After the joyful abandon of eating all those delightful, minty and chocolately crispy cookies, I started to feel sick.  Like, I'm nauseous and my head is suddenly pounding and I'm gonna puke, sick.
It couldn't be all the cookies, could it?  Maybe the guilt connected to eating all those cookies?  I typically don't feel that human emotion called "guilt."

Then I spent the next bit of my day feeling really, really shitty.  Finally the ibuprofen kicked in and my stomach settled from the sugar overload and I was feeling much better.  Mid day was pretty good, tater.

Then came the end of the work day, which went so badly I ended up crying alone in misery at my desk.  UGH.
When I went to the restroom to check my swollen, red, cried out eyes and take a quick potty break before leaving, the automatic flusher flushed while I was still on the toilet, which sprayed me with cold, dirty toilet water, but it was an oddly refreshing surprise.  Therefore I was laughing.  Alone.  In a public restroom.  Over being sprayed in the rear with germy potty water.  Because that is my life.

To end my afternoon on a high note, I took Bossy Girl and Wee One to a local cookie shop to buy more cookies.  Because the Girl Scout cookies I just got this morning aren't enough sweet goodness to sedate me into a sugary state of nirvana.  Add on the sweetened condensed milk tryst from yesterday....I'm likely a full blown diabetic now.  While there, my girls danced with enthusiasm to the music playing in the bakery and the other customers were as caught up in their energy and cuteness as I, their momma was.  It was a lovely, happy sight that filled my heart and soul with much needed laughing and smiling. 

Then BOOM.  Bad mood strikes yet again when Bossy Girl tells me that another kid in her class got in trouble for slapping another student.  In the first grade.  A girl slapped another girl across the face.  Really?  I gave her my sound momma bear advice by telling her to stay away from the little violent brat and if she happens find herself the victim of a slap by the disrespectful crazy snot, then to tell me immediately so I can look up her address and go bitch slap her mom.  Because that is what I do for my kids.  Don't mess with them or I'll Chuck Norris your ass.

Bossy Girl replies to this wise speech with a "YAY!  My mommy rocks!"  Which made me feel all accomplished and awesome parent-like, so score.  Good mood back.

It was an emotional roller coaster day, baby, but oh what a ride.....