Blogger "Face Off" Round 5

Welcome back to the fifth edition of the fun-filled Blogger Face Off Series!
If you're looking for some laughs today, these two featured bloggers are your women.  They are freaking hilarious, and I truly hope you go check out their blogs and become followers.  Great, great stuff.  Their answers below are just a glimpse into their wit.
For today, our fine non-competitors (remember, it's not a technically a competition) are:

Dawn from This Side of Typical

VS.  Brianne from Chaos Lives Here

Enjoy!!

Questions	Blogger A	Blogger B
	Dawn at This Side of Typical	Brianne at Chaos Lives Here
Name? (real or assumed)	Dawn	My birth certificate states  Brianne, but 7 years ago  it surprisingly became Mommy.
How did you come up with your blog’s name?	I got tired of hearing the word “typical” as I began to study my son’s autism and wondered where our side of the story was.	Spend a day in my house  you’ll figure it out. If you  don’t you’re probably one  of those, “not the sharpest  tools in the shed” type of  people. Then you’re screwed.
How long have you been blogging?	Almost a year	September 2009. And by the way, that was a fucking hassle. I thought I was answering questions, not doing research.
Link to your very first post:	http://bit.ly/kRkL7R	http://bit.ly/mP6pD3  Another hassle since I didn’t read on before closing my  blog after the last question.  Damn, I feel like I’m back in  high school.
Do you have a motto?  If so, what is it?	Really?  I mean, really, that’s my motto: really?  I am often gobsmacked by the world in general.	A happy wife is a happy life.  Oh wait, that’s my husbands.
Team Edward or Jacob?	Screw those teenagers.  Team Alcide baby.	Hello! Team Edward! Who wouldn’t want to be bit by a  vampire? Did you miss the  honeymoon chapter in the book?  Can we say Skinemax?
Corey Haim or Cory Feldman?	Oh dear god.	“I’ve got an idea. Why don’t  we just spread chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?”
How much do you love Captain Crunch?	I’m first mate on his ship.  And by first mate I mean I’d trade sexual favors to eat it forever and not gain weight.	As much as I love gaggling  myself with a spoon. No, I don’t have an eating problem.  Unless there is an over eating  problem. Crap, I think there is. Scratch all that… No I don’t like Captain Crunch.
Would you rather compete in a hot dog eating contest or a pie eating contest?	Pie.  Definitely pie.  Nitrates kill—and make you retain water.  Also, girls and hot dog eating contests?  Really?	I do love a good wiener.
Favorite swear word:	Fuckity fuck fuck fucker fuck	Favorite swear word or swear  word you say the most? Favorite would be, cunt. Yeah yeah, I  know it’s foul and totally wrong. But it sure gets the person’s attention. The swear word I say  the most, which is daily, shit and damn it. I have a great video of  my 2 year old saying it.  Damn it, that is.
How do you like your eggs?	Poached (I know—who let in the old lady, right?)	Cooked. I’m really not a fan  of drinking raw eggs. Even if it was the cool thing to do in  “Can’t buy me Love.”
Who would you rather see do naked jumping jacks:  Jack Nicholson or Aretha Franklin?	Aren’t they dead? Because if not—I’m sure this sort of activity would kill them.	Aretha Franklin. Her fupa  wouldcover her vajayjay  while she was jumping.  There’s something about a  man with old balls that just  doesn’t do it for me. Not  saying Aretha’s fupa does it  for me either. Oh never mind!
What’s more evil: Possums or Satan?	Possums—have you seen their tails?  Hairless tails are a sign of pure evil	Possums! EWWW!
Should jelly shoes make a real comeback?	Really?   REALLY?	I thought they did. I’m wearing a pair right now. Are you trying to tell me something?
In your opinion, what is our most pressing concern as a society today?	Economic inequality and the state of our educational system.  And the fact that Hawaiians eat an obscene amount of spam.	Our bleeping, bleep, bleep Government.
If avoiding laundry was a sport, how would you place: gold, silver, or bronze?	Special Olympics baby—everyone’s a winner.	I truly believe there needs to be a medal above gold. Let’s call it platinum. For myself and all the other moms who use baby  wipes to clean their kids shirt before sending them to school.
If you were royalty, what would your official title be?	Duchess Dawn of course (btw—totally promoted that as a flavor idea to Ben & Jerry’s—strawberry ice cream with chocolate lady-fingers.  This was in conjunction with my friend Penelope—princess of course—whose flavor would have been strawberry with vanilla lady fingers.  Those fuckers turned us down.  Marketing idiots.  Its amazing they’re still in business)	Duchess of Tequila who drinks a lot.
Please write the first word(s) that comes to your mind for each of these: Sporks Erectile dysfunction Taco Bell Zombies Wine Dandruff Smurfs Miley Cyrus	Sporks--yogurt Erectile dysfunction—Saturday night Taco Bell—high school Zombies—double tap Wine—where? Dandruff—nerd hut Smurfs—blue balls Miley Cyrus--whore	Sporks: Sporking? Forking? Erectile dysfunction: Sucks to  be married to him. Taco Bell: Volcano burrito' w/beans hold the fake meat. Zombies: Apocalypse Wine: Headache in a bottle. Dandruff: Head and Shoulders Smurfs: Do they get blue balls?  Or purple? Miley Cyrus: Skanky.
On a scale of 1-10, 10 being highest, how much do you love my blog?	As much as you love mine. (see what I did there, I turned it around and made it about me.  Because of reasons.)	What a great self absorbed  question to ask! I love it.  You and your blog. 10!
Any final words?	Autism affects 1 in 110 kids—AND THEIR PARENTS.  If laughing about our situation makes us bad parents, then call CPS—because there are some funny fuckers out there. And also, bacon.	My boss will be happy I  played along in your face-off instead of working. :) Thanks!

Thanks ladies!