Questions | Blogger A | Blogger B |
| | Rachel from
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Name? (real or assumed) | Sharyn, which nobody ever spells right.
| Rachel. Although when I was a kid my mom bought my sister and I these dolls that came with birth certificates, and Suzann got a doll whose name was Suzann, and my doll’s name was, like, Anne or something, so I threw a royal fit and told my parents I wanted to change my name to Anne. As far as I know, I’m still Rachel though.
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How did you come up with your blog’s name? | I didn’t. The people who designed my blog named it after the web site I own and operate and I’ve never liked it. I’m hoping to redesign and rename it this summer while my kids are away at camp, but I might spend that time sleeping or watching TV instead, so we’ll see. | Beats the hell out of me. I’m not very original. But I’m obviously very egocentric, given the name of my blog. And the subject matter. |
How long have you been blogging? | Four long years | 15 months |
Link to your very first post: | Actually this piece is plagiarized from my original blog but it’s the earliest post on my current blog and it’s much more interesting than my actual first post, which was along the lines of “Hello? Hello? Anybody there? Is this thing on?”
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Do you have a motto? If so, what is it? | As you go through life, let this be your goal: Keep your eye on the donut and not on the hole. | Is “mothereffer” a motto? It’s so often applicable in my life that it must be a motto. Right? |
Team Edward or Jacob?
| Ummm… huh? | Team Carlisle. In fact, you can read about my obsession here: Yes. I am a huge nerd who writes fanfiction. If you’ve read my blog, you’re not surprised. |
Corey Haim or Cory Feldman? | ibid
| Vintage Corey Haim. Def. I can still remember tearing his poster out of my Teen Beat and taping it to my wall to my practice my kissing. I could just tell that Corey Feldman would not be as good a kisser. |
How much do you love Captain Crunch? | I used to adore him madly but as my love was unrequited I now go steady with Colonel Sanders. | I used to love Cap’n Crunch. Then this one time at band camp, I was eating a bowl of the Cap’n and bit down on a tooth. Not my own. Now if I even catch sight of the box in the store, it triggers my gag reflex. |
Would you rather compete in a hot dog eating contest or a pie eating contest? | Pie. Pie PIE PIE!!! Chocolate pie, pecan pie, Key lime pie, chicken pot pie, lemon chiffon pie… | What kind of pie are we talking about here?? You need to be more specific. Chocolate meringue? Peanut butter? Bring it. |
Favorite swear word: | *%#%^OKGF%@$&{>PUY%^!!!! | See above |
How do you like your eggs? | Scrambled and not runny with some salt, pepper, garlic and sugar. | In brownie batter or cookie dough |
Who would you rather see do naked jumping jacks: Jack Nicholson or Aretha Franklin? | I don’t have sufficient information to answer this question. For example: How close am I to the jumper? Am I watching them from the front, side or back? How many jumping jacks? Sorry – can’t do it. | Whoa. This is a tough one. At what distance are we observing these naked jumping jacks? Because seriously, Aretha could take you out with one of those things. You know what, I’ll have to say Jack. I just don’t want my cause of death to read “Blunt force trauma- hit with Aretha Franklin’s massive chichis.” |
What’s more evil: Possums or Satan? | POSSUMS! They provoke my dog; they have many sharp and scary teeth (although apparently no rabies); and throw themselves in the middle of the road to commit suicide and cause countless drivers to experience guilt trips and nightmares. | Possums. No contest. When I was a kid the door to the basement was outside. My mom would leave cat food on the porch for the cats (obviously). But possums really like cat food. And one day, after enjoying herself some cat food, a possum wandered down to the basement through the basement door that someone (NOT me) had left open. I threw open that door to run down the stairs and grab some ice cream from the freezer. And came face to face with evil incarnate. You do not know fear until you’ve stared a possum in the face. OMG! The teeth. This hissing. *whimper* I need you to hold me.
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Should jelly shoes make a real comeback? | As long as they’re closed-toe so I don’t have to see too much of the wearers’ feet and I don’t have to wear them because they’re abominably hot and sweaty – sure, what do I care? The colors are pretty. | No effing way! I’m pretty sure I still have blisters from the 80’s thanks to those damn things. |
In your opinion, what is our most pressing concern as a society today? | When people say: “The problem is, is that…” | The lax licensing standards for parents. Wait a minute. A nyone can have a kid??? Well … that explains a lot. |
If avoiding laundry was a sport, how would you place: gold, silver, or bronze? | Laundry. Hmmm… l-a-u-n-d-r-y. Is that the stuff I drag to and from the dry cleaners every week? | Is Platinum an option?? Can we create a Platinum medal? Because, seriously, I am the undisputed champ. As attested by the fact that I have not put away laundry in months. MONTHS. The bed in my spare room has become the Mount Kilamanjaro of laundry. |
If you were royalty, what would your official title be? | The Queen of No | Czarina of the Universe
Obviously. |
Please write the first word(s) that comes to your mind for each of these: Sporks Erectile dysfunction Taco Bell Zombies Wine Dandruff Smurfs Miley Cyrus | Sporks- similar to mules: workmanlike and sterile Erectile dysfunction- Should not be advertised on prime time tv Taco Bell –I think they serve Pepsi products there. Zombies – Are getting way to much attention these days Wine - I’m a cheap date; half a glass of wine and I’m done Dandruff – Better dandruff than head lice Smurfs –are blue Miley Cyrus- Looks much better without that wig. | Sporks - Kentucky Fried Chicken mashed potatoes Erectile dysfunction - I don’t like to name names ... Taco Bell – nachos Zombies - Zombie apocalypse preparedness plan Wine - yes more please thank you Dandruff - they make shampoo for that Smurfs - Gargamel and Azrael, Atari Miley Cyrus - Get thee behind me Satan! |
On a scale of 1-10, 10 being highest, how much do you love my blog? | This one goes to 11 | Eleventy billion (You gave me an award. What can I say, I’m easy like that) |
Any final words? | Vote for me. | Rachel’s Life Lesson #372: Don’t wear short skirts when it’s windy. Or if you do, make sure you’re at least wearing cute undies.
You’re welcome. |
No one should trash their former conjoined boob. Ever. Boobs, conjoined or not, must always support one another.
Dammit, I try and every time I do I end up bald and doing you on sugar and paypal.
Seriously If you're gonna market yourself as cherry mixed fruit, there'd better be some motherfucking cherries in there!!
My curtains happen to scream "Ewww!" What do yours scream?
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